I’ve never really thought of myself as a girly girl or a high-maintenance woman. Before getting divorced, I had standing hair, nail, and wax appointments. As I type that, it sounds like the very description of girly-girl and high-maintenance. But the services I usually received at these appointments were very easy, no muss-no fuss. Anyway, that all changed when I got separated. 

As you’ll recall, at the beginning of my separation, I was short on money and time. I was working whatever job I could find (often settling for less pay than I was worth) and taking care of my daughter the majority of the time. I didn’t have the time or money for bi-weekly hair, nail, and wax appointments. Each of those appointments took 30 minutes to get to, an hour or two to complete, $35 to $150 and required finding a sitter. I simply couldn’t anymore. 

But I refused to let myself go. All while growing up, my mother instilled in my sister and me the importance of a clean and well-maintained appearance. No matter how tired you were, sad you were or broke you were, you put yourself together and put your best foot forward. So I adjusted. 

For my hair, I grew it out. It had been styled in a short pixie cut. But short hair requires more money and salon time to maintain. So I decided to grow it out. It being longer meant less money and time at the salon, as well as the ability for me to do it myself between salon visits. At the salon, I’d simply have my stylist braid it in two French braids. That style kept my hair out of my face, off of my neck, and out of the way for a solid week with no time spent in the mornings. After a week, I’d take the braids down and wear my hair in a curly bun or ponytail for another week. Then I’d go back to the salon and do it all over again. It costs me only $40 and one hour. Boom, done. 

For my nails, I switched to regular manicures. Before, I was getting gel manicures. But gel manicures require more money and time in the salon. So I decided to ditch the gel and get regular nail polish. Now, the perk to gel polish is the manicure lasts longer and there’s no chipping or fading. I absolutely can’t stand the chipping. Like one chip on one nail and I’m taking the polish off all ten. So I’d have the manicurist do the usual cut, file, and buff. But then I’d just have her put two coats of clear on top. This kept my nails clean, neat, and pretty without the worry of chipping or fading. And it only costs $20 and 30 minutes. 

Wax appointments were harder. There isn’t a substitute or compromise for a wax. But thankfully, I no longer needed them. It was winter and I was single. So I reserved wax appointments for summertime and special occasions. 

It’s hard for single moms to find the time, money, or energy to take care of themselves. We certainly sacrifice our self-care for our children, our jobs, our friends, and our family. It starts small - one missed hair appointment, a few pounds gained here or there - and then you look up and don’t recognize yourself. I was determined for this not to be the case, for people not to be able to take one look at me and know I was going through a hard time. Or, more importantly, for me to take one look at myself and not recognize my reflection. These little cutbacks allowed me to do just that while also sticking to my new budget and schedule.