From heels to sneakers. Sounds dramatic, right? Well, it’s not. But it is a subtle and important shift I noticed in my journey through divorce. 

Before having my daughter, back in my carefree days, I would get dressed up. For church, nights out, and special events, I’d wear some of the cutest, strappiest, and highest heels you’ve ever seen. I had like 5 pairs of black-heeled sandals. How many do we need?! And when I wasn’t wearing heels, I was wearing fancy-schmancy flats and dainty little sandals. Now, I wouldn’t say I was a shoe fanatic - never have been, and never will be. But I do like a complete outfit. And if I’m going to put on a top and bottom I feel excited about, then I’m also putting on shoes and a purse I feel excited about. 

After I had my daughter, the occasions to get dressed up lessened. There were fewer nights out and special events. So my reason for wearing heels decreased. But even when I did have the occasion, like church or a family function, I did not opt for heels. From the hefty diaper bags and carrying a small baby around to the kid toddler purse and chasing after a running toddler, I just couldn’t teeter in heels. The stress of it all sucked the fun out of those gorgeous shoes. Instead, I opted for more fancy-schmancy flats and dainty sandals. Pairing those with my beautiful dresses or adorable tops and blouses became my new mommy norm. 

Then, I became single. The number of nights out and special events increased (because I was single, I suppose). Yet, I was juggling motherhood, work, womanhood, and grief. I’ll come to your event. I’ll do my hair, put a nice outfit on, and make up my face. But I draw the line between the purse and the shoes. I didn’t have the energy or patience to teeter around in heels. I felt like I was constantly on the go and wearing heels required a practiced balance I hadn’t demonstrated in a while, nor wanted to. I could have worn the fancy-schmancy flats or dainty sandals, but those didn’t seem as convenient or comfortable anymore either. I mean, at the start of it, my daughter was learning to run and tumble and potty train. I needed to be able to go at a moment’s notice. I needed more practical shoes. 

Enter the sneakers. Now when I say sneakers, I’m not saying sneakers that I could go running in or participate in any athletic event in. When I say sneaker I mean something with a little cushion, a little arch and ankle support, and a bit of canvas. Most importantly, they have to have some girly edge - floral print, scalloped edges, lace shoelaces, something. See while I let go of the fanciness for the practicality, I still needed to be stylish. And I was so pleasantly surprised to see how many brands and varieties of cute, little sneakers there are. I can pair them with the daintiest of dresses or most professional of suits and it does not ruin the vibe whatsoever. I wear them to work, church, brunch, and to run errands. The only time I ditch them is if I’m going out with the girls. 

I think as moms we most certainly change, in many ways. It’s not always a bad change or even a super conscious or noticeable one. It’s more like an evolution. And I think when we embrace it as such, it’s a cool thing. So here’s to sneakers to chase after our kids instead of heels to teeter in.