Shine Through: Key Lessons from My Divorce Journey
In 2018, I started a blog titled "Grab Your Light." In it, I shared the insights I gained from my journey through divorce. These lessons are the guiding lights that transformed a difficult experience into a powerful opportunity for growth and self-discovery. This year, I’m turning the blog into a book. Yay! Join me as we explore five of the book’s key takeaways that will empower other women navigating a divorce.
No matter how the marriage ended, we all have to face many of the same challenges. It doesn’t matter if your husband left you or you left him; if you worked or stayed at home; if you tried to make it work or didn’t; if you’re wealthy or not. If you have the experience of your marriage ending, there will be hard moments. You will see them, accept them, maneuver through them, and come out on the other side.
Approach the management of your new finances bit by bit, day by day, step by step. Everything doesn’t have to happen all at once. Take your time and tackle the easiest tasks first, or tackle whichever task occurs first. The order doesn’t matter, as long as you’re making progress. Also, don’t be afraid to be a little vulnerable in the process. Vulnerability and God’s favor will work wonders.
If you decide to give your ex another chance, do it because you want to, and not because family and friends say so or societal expectations and judgment make you feel you should. Search your heart and see what the best decision for you is.
Invest in a therapist. A therapist will help with the emotions (which is a huge part of this journey) and also the practicalities. They will help you identify the cause of your emotions, work out strategies to manage them, validate you and the hard work you’re doing, and generally hold space for you. They’re an amazing resource for strengthening your mental health. When looking for a therapist, the key is to pick someone with whom you feel comfortable and safe. You don’t want to feel judged or hesitant to speak. You need to be able to be emotionally free.
Attempting to be unbothered and to show the world you’re unbothered is a facade. You don’t need to post anything on socials to prove a point, to show him he missed out, to let the world know you’re “just fine.” You owe no one anything, except yourself. Focus on the real work. Use your time and energy to emotionally heal (not avoid) your body and soul, and logistically repair your life (via career, home, and finances). Then, when you’re done, set out to be who you want to be, living the life you want to live. View this opportunity as a blank canvas and paint whatever you want.
"Grab Your Light" is more than just the telling of my journey; it's an encouraging guide for women seeking grace and empowerment amid the turbulence of divorce. By embracing change, discovering self-identity, navigating co-parenting, and cultivating resilience, women can emerge stronger, wiser, and closer to living the life of their dreams. May these insights serve as a compass, guiding you toward a thriving future filled with growth, healing, and renewed hope.
