Affirmations: The Beginner’s Guide

Today, I’m going to show you how to make positive affirmations work for you.

You may already know this, but I’m divorced. After the end of that relationship and during the (long and emotional) divorce journey that followed, my self-esteem plummeted. Not only did I occasionally receive negative feedback from my ex and other opinionated people, but I also engaged in some negative self-talk. Once I realized this was happening I knew I needed to turn that negative self-talk around. The internet and all the Instagram influencers I follow insisted affirmations were the way to go. But who’s supposed to do affirmations? What even are affirmations? When do you do affirmations? Where do you do them? How do you make them? And most importantly, do they even work?

In this beginner’s guide, I’ll drown out all the internet and influencer noise (which is funny because this post is on the internet lol) to walk you through how affirmations work.

Overview

So, what exactly is an affirmation?

Affirmations are positive statements used to challenge negative thoughts by promoting self-confidence and reinforcing belief in one’s abilities. They’re simple and positive, said with confidence about a personal truth.

For example, let’s say I often think, “I want to be a runner, but there’s no way I’ll make it.” That’s a negative thought, right? To challenge that negative thought and promote confidence in my ability to become a runner, an appropriate affirmation would be, “I am a runner because I have determination.”

The affirmation is short and simple. It’s also positive and encouraging. It is said with confidence, leaving no room for doubt or discouragement. And it does not ignore the potential hurdles posed by the fact that I haven’t run in months or don’t have time in my schedule to run. Rather, it uses my personal truth of being determined to become a runner to challenge any obstacles or doubts.

Now that we have a general idea of what an affirmation is and what we’re talking about, let’s dive into how and why they work.

Who Should Say Affirmations?

The answer is really simple - anyone. Seriously. Affirmations are any person that ever finds themselves caught in negative self-talk. It can be about appearance, personality, relationships, future, or anything else. It doesn’t matter what your MBTI, enneagram, or astrological sign is. If you ever experience self-doubt or moments of wavering self-confidence, then you are the person that can benefit from affirmations.

The only caveat is if a person has been clinically diagnosed with anxiety, depression, trauma, or any other medical condition, then the first line of challenging any accompanying negative self-talk will be clinical treatment with a medical professional. That’s not to say you can supplement this treatment with affirmations. But affirmations should be a substitute for treatment. Affirmations are not a cure for these ailments.

When Is the Best Time to Say Affirmations?

Well, in general, affirmations are best said when experiencing a challenge or desiring a positive mindset. These scenarios can include: when going into presentations or meetings, facing negative feelings, overcoming a bad habit, encountering a stressful situation, or simply needing to improve self-esteem.

More specifically, as in the time of day, it really comes down to what works best for you rather than abiding by some hard and fast rules.

But if you’re at a complete loss, it has been found that saying the affirmations in the morning. The reasoning is saying something positive about yourself and your life in the morning before you start your day is a great way to set the tone for the day. This is especially helpful if you’ve had a negative dream or negative thoughts before bed the night before (which is not uncommon when at home, alone at night).

Where Should Affirmations Be Said?

We’ve all heard or somehow just know that affirmations are often said in front of a mirror. While saying them in the mirror is an incredibly powerful strategy because it’s visually reinforcing, it’s not the only place affirmations can be said. They can be said anywhere - in the car on the way to work, at a desk while at work, during a run, on a shopping trip - literally anywhere. It even suggested that they can be written down instead of said because your brain is still processing the information that way.

So don’t feel that you absolutely have to say them in front of the mirror. I do not because it feels artificial for me. Instead, I say them wherever I am, regardless of where I am, so that I can give myself a little courage or confidence.

Why Are Affirmations Said?

This is the big question, right?! Why do we say affirmations? Do they even work? If so, how do they work. Well, there’s a surprising amount of scientific data about it. I won’t go super in-depth because, after all, I’m not a scientist. But we’ll get an overview of the general concepts.

First, there’s the concept of self-efficacy. Self-efficacy is a concept established by psychologist Albert Bandura in the 1980s. It states that self-efficacy is “a personal judgment of how well one can execute courses of action required to deal with prospective situations.” It includes our overall belief in our ability to succeed at anything - school, work, parenting, sports, etc. With that, an affirmation - or positive statement of one’s belief of or in themselves - would serve to reinforce or correct our own self-efficacy.

Next, there’s the concept of cognitive restructuring. Cognitive restructuring, or reframing, is a therapeutic process that helps a person learn, oppose, and replace their negative thoughts. Now, this concept, unlike self-efficacy, carries a bit more weight and severity. It tends to apply more to negative thoughts commonly associated with mental health disorders, such as all-or-nothing thinking, magical thinking, and over-generalization. But its still an important concept to understand how affirmations can help a person replace their negative thoughts and feelings with empowering thoughts and feelings.

Then, because I’m a Christian, I can’t possibly skip over the concept of positive confession. In the Christian faith, we believe in the power of positive confession. In fact, in Proverbs 18:21, it states “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” After asking God for something - a new job, more money, better health, anything, you then believe that you have received it. In believing you’ve received it, you confess the manifestation of that belief (i.e. “I am the driver of a new car.”). So affirmations are like confessions, reaffirming what you believe you have or are.

Really, all of these fall under the last scientific umbrella of neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is your “brain’s ability to restructure or rewire itself when it recognizes the need for adaption. In other words, it can continue developing and changing throughout life.” (Healthline) So, whether your self-efficacy is lacking, cognitive restructuring is needed, or your practicing the power of positive confession, you are working to change a belief in your mind or feeling in your being via neuroplasticity.

That all sounds great, right? Right. But more practically, what does it all mean?

Ok, so get this, get how amazing our brains are. When we repeat positive statements that encourage, empower, and uplift ourselves, our brain takes those statements as fact. When you truly believe you can do something, your actions often follow. And that’s because all the science up there shows that we can reprogram our minds to think and act differently. And we can do that with affirmations, which work to stimulate the area in our brain responsible for affecting change. They also turn our focus away from negatives and redirect them to positives. Yep, that’s it. Powerful stuff, right.

Now they’re not magic solutions to anything wrong in our lives. Rather, they’re the first step - a mindset adjustment - to achieving the thoughts, feelings, and realities we want for ourselves. Similarly, they have to reflect your personal core values. If they’re arbitrary or farfetched, they will be ineffective.

On Board? So How Are Affirmations Said?

So you’ve read this far and you want to practice affirmations. But how do you do it? How do you make them? Well, I’ll tell you. Here are a few tips for practicing affirmations:

• Start with the words, “I am.” The phrase packs power.

• Say it in the present tense.

• Make it credible and achievable. Base them on realistic facts, desires, and beliefs.

• Turn negatives into positives. Any negative thought, feeling, or experience, make your affirmation the opposite of that so that it is positive.

• Say it with feeling. You have to feel it, believe it, want it. It needs to be meaningful to you.

• Keep it brief.

• Make it specific.

• Include an action word that ends with “-ing.”

• Say the affirmation whenever facing a negative thought, feeling, or experience.

• Repeat it regularly, or write it several times.

When it comes to repeating them regularly, some people include them in their morning meditations and say them several times throughout. Others like to carry them around on cards, so they’re readily accessible when they need to be said. Then others like to display them as prints or wallpapers. It really just depends on what works for you. Perhaps try each method and see which one feels most natural and empowering.

Also, ideally, you should write your own affirmations. Only you know the depth and specificity of your thoughts, feelings, desires, and experiences. And only you know what to say and how to say it to affect change in your life. But if that feels too daunting, I do have some here that you can purchase!

Well, I think we’ve covered all we need to know about affirmations. I hope you feel equipped to start practicing affirmations and seeing the change in yourself and your life that you desire.

If you have any questions, concerns, thoughts, or experiences you’d like to share, leave me a comment. I’d love to hear them!

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References

“5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 15 Aug. 2011, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-wise-open-mind/201108/5-steps-make-affirmations-work-you.

Do Affirmations Work? Yes, but There’s a Catch - Healthline. www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/do-affirmations-work.

Katherine Hurst. “How To Use Positive Daily Affirmations With The Law of Attraction.” The Law Of Attraction, 7 Apr. 2020, www.thelawofattraction.com/positive-daily-affirmations/.

the Mind Tools Content Team. “Using Affirmations: – Harnessing Positive Thinking.” Stress Management From MindTools.com, www.mindtools.com/pages/article/affirmations.htm#:~:text=Affirmations%20are%20positive%20statements%20that,start%20to%20make%20positive%20changes.

“Positive Daily Affirmations: Is There Science Behind It?” PositivePsychology.com, 30 Jan. 2021, positivepsychology.com/daily-affirmations/.

“The Reason You Need to Practice Daily Affirmations.” Jack Canfield, 2 Dec. 2019, www.jackcanfield.com/blog/practice-daily-affirmations/.