Season 2 as a Coach’s Wife [The Highs, the Lows, and the Lessons]

If I thought I’d learned everything last season, season 2 as a head football coach's wife taught me that there’s always more to discover—especially when the scoreboard isn’t regularly in your favor.

This season didn’t come with the celebrations, the triumphant interviews, or the Instagram fanfare. This season came with blowouts, injuries, and quiet moments. And with that, I found out what it really means to support my husband, especially when the crowd stops clapping.

Lessons Learned

Losing isn’t easy on anyone, especially a man who pours his heart and soul into the game. I learned quickly that my role in a losing season required a new kind of support. Winning feels natural—joy is abundant, everyone’s smiling, and there’s no shortage of articles, congratulatory posts, and high-fives. Losing is quieter and lonelier; sometimes, the community disappears with the wins. This season taught me to give my husband the space to process the losses and to be there when he was ready to talk. Sometimes, the best thing I could do was just be close, rubbing his back, speaking no words, letting him know I was always on his side—win or lose.

With the losses, I also noticed more eyes on me. Whether it was indeed the losses or just the role of the “coach’s wife,” I became acutely aware that people were watching my every move—what time I arrived, what I wore, and how I interacted with players, their families, the coaches, and, of course, with him. There’s a quiet pressure in knowing that even my presence can impact morale.

This season also showed me that football success goes far beyond hard work. There are countless variables—players’ skill levels and experience, as well as the chemistry of the coaching staff and the competition itself. In some seasons, those variables line up perfectly. But in this one, they didn’t.

Game Day Routines (or Lack Thereof)

This season, routines changed. Last year, game days were followed by celebratory dinners — our little moments to savor the wins. But with so many losses, we weren’t up for dinners. Instead, we skipped our usual post-game outings in favor of quiet nights at home spent talking, crying, or laughing.

Additionally, this season, I started riding with my mom and brother to games. With the passing of my dad, we found comfort in going together as a family. And in such a trying season, we found solace in rallying around each other and around my husband as best we could.

Memorable Moments

Not every memory from this season was hard. Some moments felt like a pure victory, moments that reminded us why we love this game. One particular highlight was our game against La Salle College Preparatory. That’s the school where my husband and I met, worked, and became friends before we were together. We played them on their senior night on their field, and won! The irony was sweet: my husband had once applied to be their head coach and been passed over. So this win was particularly satisfying. That victory felt like our own little championship, a reminder of his capability and hard work.

Of course, there were challenges. From transfer students who couldn’t play at the start of the season to the tougher competition in a new league, every game felt like an uphill battle. And when the coaching staff didn’t quite gel, the task felt even bigger. So every win, no matter how few, felt earned.

Behind the Scenes: Showing Up When It’s Hard

With this tough season, I wanted to give my husband more. Supporting him meant going to games early and staying late, giving him the space to process, and sometimes having to reassure supporters myself. (The number of times I was asked before a game, “Did your husband get a good night’s sleep last night? How’s he feeling?” was shocking!) In a season like this, you learn the power of simply being present, holding back words when there’s nothing helpful to say, and offering comfort in the small moments. It’s a humbling role but one I wouldn’t trade.

The Balancing Act (Always a Work in Progress)

Finding time together during the season is always a challenge, and if I’m honest, we don’t always get it right. This season, with so much weighing on him, we just did our best to carve out a few meaningful moments. I started looking forward to Thursdays when his schedule slowed down with just a walkthrough and no full practice. Saturdays became our day to be together, and on Sundays, he always took a nap to recharge. During our bye week, we took a trip to Big Bear, and that break was exactly what we needed—space to breathe, reconnect, and just be.

A Season of Growth

If last season taught me the thrill of being by his side, this season taught me the strength of it. I learned how to support him even when things weren’t easy, and even when my own heart was heavy with grief over my dad. I learned to show up in ways I hadn’t had to before, giving him the kind of emotional support that’s only needed when times are tough. Through it all, we grew stronger and I flexed my wife muscles.

So here’s to season 2—the season of resilience, learning, and standing side by side through every high and low. And here’s to season 3, whatever it may bring. Whether the scoreboard favors us or not, I’ll be there, on the sidelines, cheering for him all the way.