The toasts. We tend to overlook the toasts when planning a wedding, but they often end up being one of the most memorable and enjoyable parts of the day. Hearing memories and reflections of the couple—especially for those who may not know both sides well—creates a unique connection. They provide a moment of shared joy that bridges different parts of your life, from family to friends.

What I didn’t realize until hearing them is how meaningful it is for the couple to hear these words. Weddings are busy, and often, the couple is swept up in logistics and photos. Toasts are a rare pause to hear heartfelt stories and perspectives from loved ones. Amid the whirlwind, it’s a grounding moment to truly feel celebrated.

Thankfully, my church provides a wedding coordinator who ensures toasts don’t get out of control. You know, like in the movies when an ex drunkenly stumbles to the microphone or your uncle airs all the family’s dirty laundry. Toasts at our wedding were carefully coordinated. We asked a select group of people who were close to us—not just titleholders like the maid of honor or best man—to share their words. This intentionality helped create a beautifully curated mix of voices that truly represented our journey.

The First Toasts: Lifetime Friends

There’s something special about friends you meet in the everyday course of life. These relationships are built on intention and choice, not just circumstance. They reflect the consistent, enduring connections that shape your everyday world.

My close friend and I met through parenting. We were pregnant at the same time and joined a mommy group at church. Though the group didn’t last, we did. Nervous but determined, she delivered a heartfelt toast about my emotional growth, Eddie’s love for me and Ava, and the blessings this marriage represents. Her words captured the journey of healing and love that brought Eddie and me together.

Eddie’s best friend from high school took the mic next. They’ve shared football games, family dinners, and now coaching careers. His toast painted a vivid picture of Eddie’s “intense” personality, his excitement about me, and the growth he’s already witnessed in Eddie. Funny, entertaining, and heartfelt—a perfect kickoff to the toasts. His humor and candor reflected the deep bond they’ve shared for years.

The Second Toasts: College Best Friends

College friends see us during some of our most formative years. They’ve met the significant others who didn’t make the cut, know our quirks, and can spot when it's real. These friends hold the keys to stories that shaped who we’ve become.

My college best friend shared my romantic journey—without going into any detail or dishing any secrets—and celebrated the prince I’d finally found after all the frogs. Her toast was filled with sincere love and happiness, reflecting our years of friendship and her unwavering support. Hearing her words reminded me of how far I’d come and how much she’s been there for me.

Eddie’s college best friend kept it simple but impactful, recounting Eddie’s evolution from a nonchalant dater to a man brimming with excitement when he met me. Hearing those initial conversations from a guy’s perspective was priceless. His toast was a glimpse into the quiet moments that signaled just how special this relationship was to Eddie.

The Last Toasts: Family

Family toasts bring history, context, and so much love. Initially, Eddie and I wanted our fathers to speak. However, Eddie’s dad faced health challenges that made it difficult for him to speak. Not wanting him to feel left out, we asked our sisters instead. We wanted the words shared to reflect the rich tapestry of love and support we’ve received from our families.

My sister’s toast highlighted my personality, the kind of man who could be my partner and Eddie’s natural integration into our family. She balanced humor, honesty, and heartfelt wishes beautifully. Eddie was especially touched because, as my “toughest sibling,” her words of welcome carried extra weight. Her speech was a testament to how deeply Eddie had been embraced by my family.

Eddie’s sister took a different approach—unscripted and enthusiastic. She shared how Eddie rarely dated and how excited he was when he met me. Hearing about Eddie’s giddy enthusiasm—especially since he played it so cool with me—was both hilarious and heartwarming. Her genuine excitement made her toast feel like a true celebration of our union.

A Little Speech Expressing Thanks

After all the toasts, Eddie and I took a moment to speak. Eddie led with a beautiful reflection on our love, our future, and the blessings of our family and friends. He thanked me, Ava, my family, and everyone who celebrated with us. His words were a sincere expression of how much this day and everyone present meant to us.

I followed with a few words about how Eddie is a breath of fresh air, how complete our family feels, and my gratitude for the intentionality and love everyone brought to the day. It was the perfect way to wrap up such an emotional and joy-filled experience.

Crafting Memorable Toasts: Tips for a Standout Speech

Planning toasts doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are some tips to ensure they’re as memorable as ours:

1. Plan Ahead: Select speakers early so they have time to prepare. A little planning goes a long way toward creating heartfelt and polished toasts.

2. Limit the Number: Stick to a manageable number of toasts to keep the reception flowing. Too many speeches can slow the energy of the evening.

3. Vet Your Speakers: Choose people who are meaningful to you and can speak well in public. Think about who can balance humor, sincerity, and brevity.

4. Set Time Limits: Short and sweet is best—3-5 minutes per toast is ideal. This keeps everyone engaged and the celebration moving.

5. Consider Diversity: Include a variety of perspectives—family, friends, old, new. Different voices bring unique and meaningful angles to the celebration.

6. Have a Backup Plan: In case someone gets cold feet or goes overboard, your coordinator or emcee can help. A little preparedness ensures the night stays on track.

A Toast to the Future

Every part of our wedding was intentional, including the voices we chose to amplify. These toasts reflected love, laughter, and gratitude, leaving us with memories to cherish forever. They will remain some of the most treasured moments of our day.

What’s your favorite wedding toast moment? Or, if you’re planning a wedding, what’s your strategy for toasts? Share your thoughts in the comments or on Instagram—I’d love to hear from you!