Moving into a New Home and Embracing Change

I just moved into a new home. And when they cite moving as one of life’s biggest stressors, they are not kidding.

For the past twelve years, I’ve lived in a 750 square feet, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment. I moved in in 2012, one week after my first marriage and one week before I began law school. And a lot happened in that 750 sq ft box.

In 2013, I had two of three surgeries for the removal of a cyst on my tailbone and recovered in that home.
In 2014, I welcomed a new addition to the home and family — my daughter, Ava.
In 2016, I graduated from law school and celebrated in that home. In that same year, I also healed after the third surgery and learned my first marriage was over.
In 2017, I started my professional career in education administration and celebrated in that home.
In 2018, I started dating and entertained suitors in that home.
In 2019, I became officially divorced and reinvented my life in that home.
In 2020, I survived the COVID-19 pandemic by staying inside at that home.
In 2022, I took my career in education to the next level and met my husband while living in that home.
In 2023, I got engaged to my husband while standing in front of the heater at that home.
In 2024, I prepared for my wedding day in that home. In that same year, I also grieved the loss of my father in that home.

After getting married, I knew the time had come to say goodbye to this home and hello to a new home. Not only was there not enough space in that home for all of us to live comfortably but there were too many old memories and emotions in the space. With all of the transitions in my life — getting married, losing my father, changing careers, and my daughter becoming a preteen — it was the perfect time to have more space and usher in new memories, emotions, and energy. So I set out to find us a new home.

The Search for a New Home

I strongly dislike apartment searching. I’ve searched several times over the years — once after law school, once during COVID-19, and once during my relationship with my husband. From the vague apartment listings and overeager apartment managers to the difficulty of scheduling tours and keeping notes, I found the entire search process utterly overwhelming.

So this time, I had ground rules:

1. I was only looking at apartment complexes that had legitimate websites. In my mind, a complex with a well-maintained website puts time, energy, and money into its complex, thereby minimizing dishonest apartment listings.

2. I made a list of non-negotiables and didn’t even consider places that didn’t have them.

3. I tried to tour all my options within the same period so I didn’t have to rely so heavily on my notes.

4. I always took someone with me for a second pair of eyes and input.

5. I had my financial paperwork and finances prepared before the search so that they were ready if I found the perfect place.

On one exciting day, the apartment complex I was most interested in told me they had availability. My husband was at work, but my mom and sister were free. We met and toured the apartment. We loved its location, apartment manager, appliances, and space. I talked it over with my husband, showed him photos online, and he was sold. We applied, were approved, submitted all the documents and finances, and began packing.

Packing Belongings and Unpacking Emotions

I quickly learned that I also hate packing. I don’t like going through all of my belongings, discerning whether I’ll need them in the new home or not, and determining where they’ll go if I need them. I also dislike the practicalities — buying and assembling boxes, taping the boxes securely, wrapping items appropriately, and then storing them out of the way. It was a long and arduous task. I started about six weeks before moving and finished the day before.

Then, having gone through most of my belongings before when I purged my home during my divorce, I was prepared for the emotions that could come with packing. I knew that some items would trigger unlikely emotions and I knew that those unlikely emotions would slow down the packing process. And that was true! I found some random, leftover items from my ex-husband in the nooks and crannies of the apartment. I saw them, returned them, and gave space to any emotion that came up (very little did).

Instead, it was the very idea of moving that brought about the emotions. Every crevice of my home evoked a memory — Ava’s first steps, the loss of Ava’s first tooth, making the decorations for her first birthday party, arguments with my ex, intimate conversations with my husband, my dad’s favorite spot to sit in the apartment, my dad and brother struggling to haul out my old couch during covid-19, my lonely nights crying on the couch. That was my home for the majority of my adult life. It was my safe space during all the curveballs that life had thrown me. That safe space would now be located somewhere else, without the comfort of familiarity and my memories. And that was both exciting and scary.

A Practice of Gratitude

On my last night in the old apartment, I decided to engage in a gratitude practice to help me process the exciting and scary emotions coming up for me. I lay quietly in my bed, reflecting on the past twelve years — the milestones and moments I experienced there. The next morning, I continued this practice with various expressions of gratitude. I began with a prayer, thanking God for giving me that space, allowing me to afford living there for so long, carrying me through so many moments, and dwelling in that space with me. And after the last box was put in the moving van, I touched the doorway of each room and said a quiet “thank you”, doing the same to the front door as I locked it for the last time. This practice helped me shift from a place of sorrow and anxiety to one of appreciation and anticipation, marking the transition and making it smoother and more meaningful for our family.

Practical Tips for Moving

With that, I’ll share a few tips from the lessons learned during my move.

1. Start Early: Begin packing well in advance of your move date. This allows you to sort through your belongings at a manageable pace, reducing stress and ensuring nothing is left behind.

2. Declutter: Use the move as an opportunity to declutter. Donate, sell, or discard items you no longer need or use. This will make packing easier and your new space more organized.

3. Label Boxes Clearly: Label each box with its contents and the room it belongs in. This will save you time and effort when unpacking and setting up your new home.

4. Pack an Essentials Box: Pack a box with essentials like toiletries, a change of clothes, basic kitchen items, and important documents. This box will help you settle in comfortably without having to unpack everything immediately.

5. Hire Professional Movers: If your budget allows, consider hiring professional movers. (I used UHaul!) They can handle the heavy lifting and transportation, making the moving process smoother and less physically demanding.

Moving to a new home is both a stressful and rewarding experience. It represents the closing of one chapter and the exciting beginning of another. By planning ahead, staying organized, and practicing gratitude, you can make your move as smooth and meaningful as possible. If you’re facing a move soon, remember these tips to help ease the process. And if you found this post helpful, share it with others who might be preparing for a move. Let's embrace the change and make our new spaces feel like home!

Follow along on Instagram to get a sneak peek at my new place and see how I’m decorating!